Feelings Can They Be Trusted?
Feelings are not everything.
I heard someone on the radio today who said, ‘listen to your feelings as they tell the truth’. This is is a very common belief today but does it really make sense? For feelings to be a source of truth they would need to be always consistent and there should be also be regular evidence that feelings were correct. But feelings are not always right! In my experience, and those of my clients, feelings can be very changeable and erratic.
Perhaps the person who said, ‘listen to your feelings as they tell the truth’ was really saying is that gut feelings and instinct can sometimes be a good guide to what we want to do. This I would agree with. Having said that, it is important to realise we cannot rely on feelings alone. After all, don’t a lot of our problems come from faulty feelings? If we are honest we can all think of times when our feelings have been wrong. Feelings can chang like the wind, they can vary with how good our health is, if we have had some bad news, or something has triggered a bad memory. Our moods can be fickle. . Feelings need to be considered suspect until tested.
What counselling can do is to help us to do is use our rational thinking side of our brain more effectively. A counsellor can help you become more self-aware, and to find perspective by standing back and observing what is happening in you, and in your relationships with others. To see your situation from different points of view.
If you are struggling with self esteem, depression or something else that is getting you down, you will have negative thoughts about yourself and your situation. Counselling can help you think differently. Examine the thoughts and see how true they. How much evidence there is to support them. Very oftern the negative thoughts and beliefs we carry round in us are untrue. There is no reason to believe the negative things we think about ourselves. They are often lies. Lies we have picked up from others, especially from when we were young. Thouhgts like, ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am a failure’, ‘ I am not safe’, ‘I am powerless’, ‘I am unloveable’. If you are someone walking around thinking thoughts like that about yourself, then no wonder you do not feel very good. Counselling can help us see how our feelings are affected by our thoughts, and as we change our thinking about ourselves, a person or a situation, so our feelings will change.
I can help you explore not only how you feel but also how to think more objectively and look for evidence to base decisions on. I can also (if you have are spiritual or have a faith) offer the extra dimension of looking at spirituality and how this can change what you think of yourself and your purpose in life.
